Nervous Energy

Well hello there.
It’s 5am again this morning and here I sit. WIDE AWAKE.
Everyone slept soundly last night except Bubba (my Great Pyrenees)  and myself.

So lets play that game again. The one where you are my therapist and I am going to tell you all about the crazy ideas in my head. This is always so fun for you, isn’t it?? Yep. I see your smile.

OK. I am struggling with a decision. It should be super easy for me and maybe after I get through this post it will be clear. Pretty please, I need my sleep back. Lets go back a year ago and this is what it looks like.

Stop Smoking
Weight Loss
Zumba! Yep I’m adding a new thing into the mix that I haven’t posted about yet.
Start Smoking
Beer Thirty
Stop Smoking

Did I catch you up a little bit? K.I have missed a couple posts between that time. Maybe its the one where my mom spent the summer in the ICU or maybe it was the one where all these cool new people are entering my life and I don’t know how to handle it.

I know? Me? Making friends? Yes! It’s making me a bit crazy. It’s like I am dating again and I get sooo nervous, I get diarrhea of the mouth. This article talks about everything perfectly. These ladies are just pure AWESOME and I don’t think I would have ever connected with them a year ago. They just weren’t my “type”. Moving on…

So, have been doing Zumba for a year now off and on and I really just love it. I have always love to dance but usually it was at the bars or at home while naked. Those of you who have known me for ages will remember the New Kids on the Block: Step by Step video or maybe we move a little further on to the KLF 3am Eternal gig. Remember? You do, don’t you?

Those of you who don’t, may know CeCe my alter ego, and have seen CeCe in action. (How do I break up that sentence? It looks like there is to many commas. Ah forget it. I didn’t promise to be a great writer. I promised laundry.) CeCe is a little bit crazy and doesn’t always make the wisest decisions but man, she has a great time. I have never regretted CeCe for a minute but sometimes she sticks around to long and reeks havoc on my life.

The last 3 weeks I have become a little crazy about Zumba. I have been dreaming about the pants with the tassels and downloading songs so I can do them while getting the kids ready for school. Yesterday, I was practicing in my car and was spotted. Which normally isn’t a big deal because I dance in my car everyday but I think unbuckling my seat belt in order to get the body roll down caught some attention. Talent people. Pure Talent.

This is were things get pretty muddy for me. I know that I was placed on this earth for my creativity and I have been searching for an outlet that I can give away freely. ( and no, licking and hugging are in addition to the outlet I am speaking of.) I am struggling with how that looks. Is it through Inner Hippie? My Art? Energy? Zumba? or maybe it is everything all mixed together that will create the masterpiece. Family first, but what comes next in my journey? Where should my energy go?

Nervous energy. It is a blessing and I am working on harnessing it, until then you can be my therapist at 5am. I also know that this post is all over the board and there is no clear subject and my writing sucks.  Welcome to my world. Lick.


3 thoughts on “Nervous Energy

  1. So- you started smokin’ again??? Remember the most important thing: Breath (yes I realize that when your up at 5 am, that may be hard to remember sometimes)!

  2. Hey crazy lady! Can you come to the jewelry party at Amy Kimsey’s tonight? I’d love to talk to you! I have similar things running through my head and I can understand where you are coming from. I don’t think I have answers but could at least be a sounding board and commiserate!
    Any-who, I’ll be at the jewelry party tonight and it would be great to see you! Let me know…

  3. Adrienne: Oh no. I forgot the Stop Smoking again. I think its been like 93 days or something like that.

    Jen: I am not going to be able to make it tonight. You going to be at Bible Study tomorrow?

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