Snot Filled Cry.

I don’t want to post anything.
I have nothing to say, really.

Thats it. Peace.

I really don’t have a clear vision on why I am writing but I know I need to write something. I have shut down for a month or so and basically going through the movements. My thoughts and goals are clear but I am stuck. I am in that wind tunnel again. I want to smoke, I am seriously restless and just want to get back on my easy road. This in turn, has led to a diet of nachos & margaritas. (Zumba brings out this serious urge for nachos. Don’t ask.) and a gut along with it.

I haven’t ran in 3 weeks and I am seriously sad. I have grown to HATE the treadmill and never want to step foot on that devil machine again. This means I am at the hand of fate. If the big Kahuna is home and rested during the day AND we have nothing going on THEN I can run. That doesn’t count snow, rain and time of day. I am freaking out that I have to start all over again. I don’t have that high and I am restless.

This is where CeCe comes to play and wants to go buy a pack of Marlboros and go out for a night on the town which in turn, goes on for another 3 months or so. The workouts will stop, thoughts of fear enter my mind and I push my Inner Hippie away. I do this ON PURPOSE. Its the easier road for me to take. The one that has the clearing of daisy fields in the middle of the mountains. I can dream away and nothing is scary.


I started writing that blog post a couple days ago. I feel much more centered today. Sometimes a month of being insane comes out in a complete snot filled cry of craziness. I then wake up exhausted and ready to try to fix “the feeling”. Here I am. Ready to fix ME. Lets first look at some accomplishments this last year.

I ran/walked 218 miles last year ON PURPOSE.
I logged 203 workouts ON PURPOSE.
I quit smoking 133 days ago ON PURPOSE.
I completed my first 5K ON PURPOSE.
I lost 15 lbs. and kept them off!

Sometimes you have to look at everything you have done and give yourself a break. Measure your progress. Write it down and hide it if you must. Take time to look at your measurements, your dates, your feelings and I promise you will find changes and they will be BETTER than you thought.

 OH! Guess what? I am going to be a Zumba Instructor. Yep. The Hippie.
…and no, I have no rhythm. I have no hips and I have a lot of things that shouldn’t be shakin. You know what I can do? I can make a complete FOOL of myself onstage in front of a group of women and it FILLS UP MY CUP. I have been doing Zumba for about a year now and really have gotten into it the last 3 months or so. I met a great girl, lets call her the Punk Princess, and we totally hit it off. She teaches Zumba and the more we started hanging out the more my hippie danced. I then jumped into uncharted waters not knowing the outcome and I am extremely excited about the endless possibilities. I want to show other women out there to find their Inner Hippie and hear their voice loud and clear. To move forward with their heads up so they can give 100% to the families they love.

I have a feeling this year is going to amaze me and show me things I never thought or imagined. If you are waiting until tomorrow to live your dream it will never come. Do something today, even if it means a snot filled cry. Until next time, dream hippies and then act on them.

The moral of the story is… if the hippie isn’t posting the hippie isn’t around. You need to come find me and slap me upside the head. Drag me outside for a run. Email me and tell me to get out of my rabbit hole. Peace!


2 thoughts on “Snot Filled Cry.

  1. Lady, I swear I was loggin in to write something so similar to your original post here, the one you started a few days go. You must’ve passed the buck my way!! So glad you found your inner hippie again!!! Hoping I find my inner “peace” sooner than later!

  2. Of course you will. Sometimes, it takes a little time. For me it is averaging about a 1-3 months but I am finding out the time is getting shorter this last year. I totally see your posts here and get a little message to write away. I will see you tonight and….nope… still don’t know what we are having for dinner. Ha!

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