This whole “get sober” thing has been completely God led. I have been trying to fix myself for AT LEAST 5 years. I see things in black or white. Good or bad. I tried to fix me and as soon I as realized that I couldn’t fix me, I prayed. A day or two later, God told me to talk with this dude at the church I teach Zumba at. The dude God picked for me was NOT the dude I would have picked for myself. I would have picked a hippie, of course. The dirtier the better. I chose to be obedient and email this guy and set up a meeting to “chat” and yes, I totally needed a drink or two to even write the stupid email. He contacted me and that meeting we had has been a huge turning point in my life.
I start going to meetings and find out my “Sponsor” needs to be a woman. Ah hell. I don’t get to talk with my dude. I have to find a chick! I am finding out real quick that God does not want me to feel comfortable. Ever! So I have been patiently waiting & praying for a sponsor. Yesterday, God showed me.
I was sitting next to a lady who was at the very first meeting I went to. I think I have seen her a couple times since then but she really never stood out to me. Half way through the meeting God was telling me that she was my sponsor. I argued with him that I haven’t heard all her story, I haven’t personally chatted with her, she wasn’t my type and I would sit and wait until next time I see her. You know, maybe hear her talk a couple more times and then decide. Thats when God started YELLING at me. It was urgent. If I wanted any sort of a clear mindset that night I needed to talk with this chick. The meeting ended and she turned to talk with me and I continued to say some gibberish about God yelling at me that she was my sponsor and then trying to officially ask her to be my sponsor. In the process, I start crying and I have NO IDEA where the hell THAT came from. It was sunny outside and I was in a good mood. Crying, really?
She said, yes.
and then she said,
“That the process is a very spiritual journey for her and she needed me to know that.”
I know nothing of this chick and yet, God has picked her for me. I get to talk with her today and I am super excited to hear her story and get to know her. In 16 days, I have seen that things are going to get A LOT harder before they get better. I know that after the 90 days I will be in this program for life, if I want to stay sober. Today I am content with that.